I’ve been thinking more about this lately, since I’ve started one of my summer jobs. Part of what I do for this job is introducing exchange students to campus. When I meet the students for the first time, one of the icebreaker topics that often comes up is our hobbies and interests.
Sometimes, I’ll say that I like reading a lot and that I have a goal to finish 75 books this year, but I never tell them about my book blog, even though it’s been a hobby I’ve really enjoyed for the past year.
I was thinking about why this is, and honestly, it boils down to one problem:
I feel awkward sharing the content of my blog
I’m pretty open about my love of reading and I haven’t gone out of my way to hide that I like genres like romance and cozy mysteries, but I am reluctant to share some of my specific reading habits.
I definitely feel uncomfortable talking about my blog at my job. I know my coworkers and the students wouldn’t be against me sharing a hobby like blogging, but what if they asked for my URL? What if they decided to read my blog? What if they read the reviews for some of the steamier books I’ve read?
Yeah…. nope. I feel like that could turn into a real awkward conversation, real fast. Better stick to safer work topics, like just talking about reading in general or my interest in podcasts or something.
Also, I see my blog as a space where I can express myself fairly freely. I worry that I’d be more self-conscious about what I share if I knew that people in real life were reading my blog and potentially judging me. It’s a bit weird considering this blog is public and available for the whole world to see if they find it, but I feel like I’d get extra self-conscious if I knew someone in real life was reading this.
Do you tell people you know about your book blog? Why or why not?
Any fun stories of people finding out you’re a book blogger? (Nothing embarrassing I hope!)
Mint Loves Books 
I really don’t want people I know reading my blog! I do a lot of discussion posts that I worry could upset people. It’s one thing to have a lively conversation online. It’s another to have someone you know personally being weird and awkward about it.
And, yeah, even just having them read my book reviews could be strange. If I realize someone I am talking to in person really loves a book, and I don’t, I typically mention a few of the things I found favorable about the book and maybe say I “didn’t connect to it” or otherwise downplay my visceral hatred of the title. I wouldn’t go around in real life yelling, “One star! The pacing was a mess! The characters were cookie cutter cut-outs!” because it’s considered rude to “yuck someone’s yum” and all that.
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The weirdness and awkwardness of it all is what really worries me, even for something as simple as book review like you mentioned!
I think in book blogging spaces, people yuck other people’s yum frequently but there are certain unspoken rules that don’t make it feel hurtful or mean, if that makes sense? Like a negative review of a popular book that a lot of people liked. But when talking to people in person I think it’s harder to navigate those spaces respectfully, especially if it’s with someone you don’t know as well.
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Yeah, agreed! I think in the book blogosphere people expect to read differing opinions. That’s what reviews are for! And lots of people join the community specifically to talk about books–the good and the not so good.
But, in person, you have to decide if the person is actually looking to discuss the book in-depth, or if they just wanted to note that they read it as a bit of small talk, or if they just wanted to squeal about a new favorite. If they seem like they’re just saying something they did over the weekend, it feels weird to respond with, “But that book is AWFUL!” So I just smile and nod politely. XD
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This is such a great discussion!
I kept my blog a secret from everyone for the longest time, and then started telling people slowly. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll tell almost anyone, and it’s even on my resume, I just usually don’t tell them the name of my blog.
But it was definitely weird the first few times I realized that like,,, people I know actually read my blog? Like I said some things I thought were relatively inconsequential, and then my boyfriend’s mom was asking him questions about it LOL. Overall though, I’ve found a lot of people are really enthusiastic and supportive! It’s also fun when I write something, and then one of my IRL friends brings it up.
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Whoa, that’s cool that you mention blogging on your resume! It’s so nice to hear that people are enthusiastic and supportive about your blog.
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I feel very similarly. It’s definitely not something I bring up and work and, frankly, I don’t want to talk about it with anyone at work. I don’t want my work life to also have tendrils that work their way into multiple aspects of my life when I’m not at work. It’s my safe space, so to speak, and I think it’s healthy to have/do/keep things separate from work. A couple of friends know, but I don’t think they read my blog. It’s listed on my personal GR profile, but other than that I don’t cross post anything to my personal social media accounts. I like having a hobby that is purely “just for me.”
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I think it can be really valuable for everyone to have something that’s just theirs. Even my GR profile is linked to this blog and not under my real name.
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Most of the people in my life aren’t big readers, so it doesn’t come up often luckily. But I definitely talk about it to my reader friends!
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I wish I had more reader friends outside of the book blogging community, especially people who like my genres! I have a few friends who like to read but it’s a pretty casual interest so we don’t usually talk about it too much.
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Really? I tell everyone and anyone about my blog. Well, maybe because I’m retired now and people ask me what I do, so I tell them I have a book blog.
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Yup, really! I’m OK with telling them that I blog, but it’s the follow up of “oh what’s your URL” that I’m not quite sure how to answer yet, especially with co-workers. Because I wouldn’t really want to give it to them…
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There is a concern for me that coworkers knowing I blog would affect how I am perceived at work. I actually probably would be more open about admitting to being a blogger if I were retired….
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Ah, well… to each their own. I gave out my URL to anyone who asked for it. But if you aren’t comfortable with doing that, I get it.
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Ooooh, this is definitely an interesting one, Mint! Generally speaking – no, I never tell people I know in real life I have a blog 🤣
At least, not anymore. When I started out, I actually had my blog set as private and a handful of friends were my only readers. One of them had been there from the very beginning – we had originally wanted to start a book blog together but nothing ever came of it – so she’s always been my quiet supporter lurking in the background… And then I told a few other people over time. Who mostly fall into two categories: a) really close friends who I know for a fact won’t read my blog anyway because “reading in English is too exhausting” (😂) and b) friends whom I met more recently, bonded with over a shared love for reading, and didn’t feel as awkward mentioning my blog to because they don’t already have a ton of preconceived notions about me from knowing me since my childhood (😅).
Also, for a long time, I did also have a link to my blog in my (private) Instagram profile, so my excuse for not telling my friends was always that they COULD have found it if they’d wanted to. This was more of a fail-safe if they had ever stumbled across my blog by chance, though, so that I would’ve had a valid reason for saying that I wasn’t purposefully keeping my blog from close friends and family. Because that’s totally what I was doing 😁 I know for a fact that the people closest to me never check my social media accounts since they already know what I’m up to anyway – and I like it that way. There’s a ton of very personal stuff on my blog that I don’t necessarily want my friends reading 😅 Not that’d it’d be a disaster if they did, but I’d just rather they found out about some of these things in a face-to-face conversation…
Since I started teaching this year, though, I’ve done my very best to hide all traces of my blog in my various other social media accounts 😂 The risks of my colleagues or students stumbling across it are just too high! Like, just the thought of my students finding my ACOSF rant and everything I had to say about those steamy sex scenes without my knowledge horrifies me 😬 And I really don’t need all of my colleagues discussing my private life and reading tastes behind my back, either, when I’m trying to be professional. Although I do also take care to never share anything that I’d be uncomfortable with people knowing. It’s just – I’m not going out of my way to actively get people to know these things, either 😂 If they want to know what I’ve been up to or my bookish opinions, they can ask me in person!
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I get how it wouldn’t be as awkward to tell friends that you haven’t known since childhood! The people I know from childhood know I read but I don’t think they know I read steamy things and… I’d prefer they didn’t. I told a few people I knew about my Tumblr and that already felt a little embarrassing given that I was sometimes reblogging stuff related to steamy fanfic.
I can’t speak for all students out there but I for one, was a nosy student and managed to find the social media accounts of several of my teachers… so… probably a good idea that you are trying to hide your blog from them! There was even a teacher who had a popular fashion Instagram, though I think she wasn’t exactly hiding that either (and it wasn’t inappropriate at all.)
And I’m the same way. Nothing here is something I wouldn’t want others to know at all costs but it is a little uncomfortable sharing about uh… certain reading habits.
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Haha, I actually have no problem with my childhood friends knowing I read steamy stuff from time to time! I mean, sometimes we even discuss such books together, so… 😂 It’s more that I don’t need them knowing more personal stuff like which aspects of books I heavily related to or how I was feeling in a particular month… Because then they might want to discuss my emotions! 😨 (Which is sometimes okay, but usually makes me feel so exposed that I sneakily start steering the conversation to my friends’ feelings instead 😅)
And gosh, now I’m just sincerely hoping my students don’t have your social media skills! 🤣🤣🤣
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You’re right when we know that that person we know in real reading our blog we feel awkwardness and it’s just kinda odd for me . So i keep it a secret
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It feels odd for me too. Like, people know that I read and they know that I enjoy it, but I don’t think they need to know all the details about how much I liked this one steamy book or how much I disliked another!
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😅yeah I agree 💯
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I do not, unless asked. I have two blogs and both are for my online world but not my IRL world 😉 Definitely don’t want my work people to read my blogs.
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I just never mention the blog so that I can just talk general reading with work people and never have to worry about what to do if asked lol… basically, it’s just avoidance but it’s been working so far! And agreed, I do not want work people reading my blog.
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Noooo I haven’t told many people lol. I have some different reasons, but I agree with your reason that you want to be able to speak freely and would feel more self-conscious. I’m not ashamed of the things I talk about, but I would also feel more self-conscious if I knew offline people in my life were reading my blog.
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I think it’s one thing to know that offline people are reading and another to just have them silently interacting. Even though the action is the same both times, I’d just prefer to not know they’re reading for self-conscious reasons!
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I don’t think anyone I know IRL reads my blog. A couple of friends may have stumbled across it because they were following my old bookstagram account (which I don’t really update anymore). For most people, I don’t think I’d mind too much if they found my blog but I feel like I have very different reading tastes from most of my friends so I’d rather avoid potential conflict that might arise if they think I’m judging their reading tastes or something when I rant about things I didn’t like in books. Lol.
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That’s a good point about reading tastes & friends. One of my friends loves YA which I’m not much into nowadays, so she knows she can just talk about it to me and I’ll nod along (except for the books I’m more familiar with, those we debate on!)
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I had someone ask me for my blog address then they quickly say that if it too personal I don’t has to share it.
I find that my blog is my personal space despite that everyone in the world can read it.
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It’s an interesting contrast, between an open blog on the Internet and how personal we find these spaces to be.
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I do link my blog in my personal socials but I don’t necessarily go out of my way to tell people that I have it, only the people I’m close to. While it’s a fun hobby for me, I might use it as a kind of portfolio in the future, so I might as well get used to the idea of people reading my blog 😂 that being said I don’t think I’ve covered any topics that I consider awkward!
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I think a book blog would make for a great portfolio if you ever go down that route! People can show their writing skills, their art/graphic design, their coding if they’ve made their own theme… so many things to show off!
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I don’t review steamy books anymore, but I can totally see how it would feel awkward to have people IRL read my reviews if I did. Yeah… definitely awkward. LOL!
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I mean, maybe some of them are steamy book readers too and we could connect over that, but I think it’d be kind of awkward trying to figure out if they are in the first place!
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This is so interesting to me–I definitely have the same reserves! I wonder if it’s also because of some stigma around blogging? I’m very proud of the content I create but I much prefer it staying anonymous to the people I know in real life, haha.
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Hm, I hadn’t thought about it that way before but it makes sense. Where I am, blogging is seen as a bit of an outdated hobby. It’s not necessarily negative to do, but not really… relatable? Current? Most people are on social media instead.
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Yes! I get the outdated thing. Video killed the blogging star, then short form social media came for vlogging, haha.
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love the post, i used to actively hide my blog haha, but now if someone i know IRL comes across it, I let them…ENJOY PEOPLE !
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I wish I had that kind of confidence! Maybe after the blog ages, I’ll be more confident to share but for now, I like that it’s my little secret.
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